Being obidient

Whats more important in life, what is it that keeps me away from you my Lord. There are many things that I am not doing in my life. I been pushing you away. How to make my life more beautiful, how to keep the evil away from my heart. What are those sins and the commitments that I gave that bring disgrace to your name. Lord I am not a sinner, I been purified in your blood. I no longer need to say that I am a sinner. I am not. Yes there are many many thoughts I desire to fulfill, but I consider them as fetal matter for your sake. Lord will come to my heart and teach me how to be a doer than a speaker. I don't want to be a hypocrate, My father, the son Jesus christ. Please help me understand your ways and let me live your path. I thank you my lord. I am not attracted to those fancy colors or the walls or the music. I am only attracted to your beauty, I am amazed the way you cleanse my heart. Is't that the best thing that could happen to anyone. Wow, this is so cool, I have a care taker now, a winner who always wins and he is streching his hands for me to come to his house. Be under his wings and be under his salvation. He has installed and stored the treasure that he have for the righteous. O righteous father, please come and teach me how to be righteous and how to be a winner. Lord I am not a winner, I am looser, I can win Viroja, I can't win my Genetical father's heart, I can't win this world, I got nothing , I have no skills, I have not talent, I have stupid mouth that speaks rubish which make perfectly not sense at all. I have heart that lusts all the time, I have brain that think in different ways and could not decide what I want. I have conflicts, complication, errors, sins, false pretence, false beliefs, false in every matter. My lord why have I made my life so complex. Please unfold all the riddles, unfold all the messed up knots, clear my thoughts and my heart. I am so glad that you told us to put all of our burdens unto you lord jesus, you are so amazing. I feel light, I feel delighted, I no longer worry about the things which I used to worry a lot. I know that you will take care those things and you will give what I need on time. You will provide, Our father is so great, he got such an abundant knowledge please ask father, our God. Tell him that I m a poor guy, tell him that I do make mistakes but I am willing to be under your command. I have no will now, I have no wish now. I give unto thee O lord. I am nothing, I care nothing. I just need you, father in heaven. I need you, come into my heart, help me grow strong. Drive the pride, let me be that obedient that you want me to be.
Asking in jesus name
Amen
anand