Judgement

O Father in Heaven, I bow unto thee, I have surrendered myself, yet I find myself running away from your ways. But you are so merciful not to get anger quick on me. You are going to show your mercy tomorrow, May what you wish in my life shall come to pass. O father, our of you love you are releasing me, out of your compassion, you are delivering me from my burdens, O deliverer, you are worthy of all my praises. It is your love that is saving me to this day, You never let a soul touch my body, It is your wish that let people to harm me. I learn t my lesson father. Thanks for teaching this lesson. I would not be proud again. O father this is you that has commanded these things to happen in my life. If it is not your wish. It shall not pass. Thank you for everything. Because of your love, i m saved. Its not because of my deeds, but because of your love, I m not condemned by people. thanks for giving me respect in the eyes of men. But I care less if it not given by you. I need to come close to you. Yet my desires are controlling me, My lust is taking over me. Please father, I do not wish to commit any other sins. I had it all, I least care anything, If is not given by you my father. tomorrow the 10th of June 2008. Is your judgment, please be with the judge and let your will be pass through him. My father. I thank you for everything. I knew the next step, so please help me build myself. I m nothing and I have nothing. My knowledge is null, my strength is zero, but my faith in you is greater, O great one, I have been scatter, I calling our your name, from far fields, to where I have driven myself and got lost because of my own deeds and will. I m wandering and I m searching for lovers, yet you did not condemned me, you are giving your love n you are give your peace into my heart, you talking to me in my deepest hours, You are talking to me when I m committing sins. You bore my sin, why I even not understand that, Lord dont close ears of my heart, Don't Close my eyes to see your great actions. O father I ask unto thee, do not shut your doors upon my soul, dont condem me from your kingdom, please let me be in the corner, let me sit like a dog and bark with my rotten voice. My mind is full of sin, my heart is full of lust, I can't think of other things except the sex, O father, I have lost into the valley of Sex/lust. How can I even see the world through your eyes, What ever I see, looks lustful to my eyes, what ever I heart, my brains cooks an instant story of sex. How do I even get of this great filth. I m stinking with sex juices, I m still like a rotten egg, I got myself into this, I was saved before, Yet I m coming back and wiping this muddy sex materials, O father i m ashamed to ask for your forgiveness , I shamelessly ask unto you in the name of your Son, Yeshuva, please forgive me and cleanse me one more time. I can't promise anything, i m too week to keep promises, I dont want to give false promises, I m a hypocrite, Father forgive me, Cleanse one more time, Coz i m so filthy. I can't stand my own smell, Its too stinky to bear. Please Wash me , make pure and teach me a lesson. O my potter, make a better utensil, I ask in the name of your son YESUVA. Amen